Millennial Kingdom: A Generation of Reluctant Leaders
Pastor Gabriel Rubi and family
By Pastor Gabriel Rubi
It may not reverberate through the pop culture, go viral on social media, or appear in the Wall Street Journal, but an obscure event in 2019 holds truly fearful implications. Yes, the Last of the Millennials (born 1981-1996) will turn 23 this year. Weird, right? The generation that would never grow up, move out, finish school, or not wear pajama pants to the grocery store are now adults. At least on paper. Pew Research announced that Generation Y (Millennials) is now the world’s 23-to-37-year-olds. We are now the prime advertising demographic (which explains Geico commercials) and the most populous generation at the ballot box (which explains congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez).
Just think about it. The generation of teenagers that were content to sit in the dark in their parents’ basement playing first-person-shooter video games is now sitting in the dark in open-floor-plan cubicles playing first-person-shooter video games. It’s amazing to some and dismaying to everyone else. Gen Y brings its own set of sensibilities to adulting. If we must grow up (because apparently, we get older) we will do it on our terms: in the dark, alone, and disconnected from everybody else. But it’s cool. That’s what we do. And we’ll self-document with heavily filtered photographs. Our passive-aggression will get us out of record-setting debt and get us exactly where we want to be, one selfie at a time. If all else fails, we can always whine (where else?) on social media, where the only thing that is real is the fact that we are all getting older. Nobody loves you when you’re twen-ty-three! Thanks, Blink 182.
“Millennials have the reputation of being entitled and lazy,” said my lifelong friend, who is himself a Millennial and a Navy officer. “We have the reputation of being hard to lead and afraid to grow up. We are mocked for playing video games as adults and for loving social media. We are made fun of for growing up receiving participation trophies and for asking the question, Why? We hate labels and annoy older generations with our non-committal ways of serving.” This from a guy sworn to protect our nation by leading a group of those same Millennials.
Now, the significance of what I’m about to say cannot be understated: Things have drastically changed since our parents, the Late Baby Boomers, clocked in and out at the office or factory in the ’80s. For one, what’s an office? And two, what are factories? Number three: Dude, the ’80s!
Another close friend of mine, an economic development director in Texas, pointed out that Western economies have changed so much because of globalization and tech that our social structures have begun to bend under the weight of this tech-tonic shift. “The rules my parents and church taught me about how to be a man are in many ways undergoing a paradigm shift or becoming extinct altogether,” he said. “My parents told me to get up early and put in a full day’s work. But now that technology, globalism, and the Internet permit me shorter and stranger hours, I have to question what my parents taught. Is it true anymore, or just an old wives’ tale?” The 9-to-5 job traditionally held down by a factory worker on the outskirts of a small town in Ohio is now performed by a woman in Southeast Asia. The warehouse that housed the factory is now a call center for the customer service reps who service the product that the factory once made. Even more dizzying, technology now routes those calls to the customer service reps’ homes. So, where does that leave the Millennial family structure? What family? What structure?
Pew research found that as of 2018 only 46% of Gen Y adults were married, as opposed to The Silent Generation (our grandparents, now age 73-90) who married at a rate of 83% in 1968. Let’s explore that. In 1968, less than 1 in every 5 were single in their 20s and 30s. By contrast, 3 out of 5 Millennials are unmarried. Even the marriage rate among high school grad Millennials has plummeted. Traditionally, high school educated Americans married at a higher rate than college graduates. Gen X-ers reversed that trend and Millennials dropped it off a cliff. Our first Millennial instinct is to assign blame and we often confuse that with actually finding a solution. But blame is a fickle weapon and it never produces its intended outcome.
I remember the story of two friends, Caleb and Josh, who were part of a reconnaissance team sent to evaluate an expansion opportunity. They were enthusiastic, good-natured, glass-half-full type guys who believed in a better future, even though they didn’t come from a sheltered suburban existence with helicopter parents and a minivan. In fact, their families were previously slaves, so they knew that life is what you make it. When they saw the fruit that grew in the valleys and fields that covered the hills they couldn’t help but be ecstatic. “Hey, we got this!” they said, while their melancholy companions tried to squelch their enthusiasm. Giants lived in those hills, they pointed out.
“Let’s go! God will help us!”
“It’s crazy!” the others shouted. “We have no chance! There are too many giants!” The camp was in confusion. Who was right? The two who said to follow God’s plan for their lives and families? Or the ten who declared: “This is insanity; it’s all a lie; God can’t help us nor will He.” This paraphrase of the account in the book of Numbers chapters 13 and 14 illustrates the warring factions that can be found in any generation of Christians. Is God true and every man a liar? Or, is God a convenient lie that every man must negotiate for himself? You see, down to the last man in that group of twelve, each one truly desired a better future for their children. The only debate was how do we get there?
The vast majority of our generation was raised in a landscape of brokenness, heartache, broken homes, rejection, and sexual exploitation. Who can they trust? They may be like the ten who told themselves, “I can’t trust Moses or his God. All I can trust is what’s in front of me.”As former slaves, their view of authority figures was already twisted and their former realities were dark and hopeless. As the children of divorce, Gen Y also has ample reason to mistrust authority – not to mention the compounding effect of church scandals and #Metoo. As children of the Cold War, we found our way to the front lines of the war on terror, from which some of us will never come home. I remember standing in my high school Media class trying to comprehend the news that right then, in real time, two seniors in Littleton, Colorado were massacring their fellow students at Columbine High School.
I can see us huddled together in a break room watching the Twin Towers crumble on a Tuesday morning, September 11th, 2001. Our generation has had its share of trauma. While this pales in comparison to a people group enslaved for over 400 years, we must recognize that violations and hopelessness are universal experiences. This is what shaped the perspective of the ten out of twelve – just as it shapes the perspective of the majority today. How does this fit into life and leadership? So, I’ll just lead my own life. Isn’t that still leading? Absolutely. The ten who were too jaded to take God at His Word did, in fact, lead their people – right back into the desert for forty years. None of them made it out alive. Our refusal to lead, our mistrust of God’s promises, our blind trust in our fears, and the longing to go backwards destroys more than just our own lives. My very Millennial sister said that the 21 Pilots' song Stressed Out captures our generation perfectly: Out of student loans and tree-house homes we all would take the latter/ Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days when our momma sang us to sleep/But now we’re stressed out.
There were two who not only made it out of the desert alive but led the new generation into God’s promise. Caleb and Josh simply said, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). Their leadership began at home and spread as they simply lived out their lives at home and before God. They weren’t content with assigning blame and hoping that would absolve them of responsibility. We are the generation that created social media influencers, self-anointed thought leaders. Essentially anyone with a smart phone, too much time on their hands, and no shame (that’s most of us) can now influence people and lead thoughts on anything from Keto food to relationship problems. This is not that. Let the blind lead the blind. Caleb and Josh were grounded in reality. Yet they could see with eyes of faith.
Who will be there to earn a new generation’s trust and to lead them as they come of age? Who will lead them out of the darkness they are inheriting? This next generation that both Barna and Pew Research predict will be the most amoral generation in modern history, Generation Z (born 1997-2010). God said, “Because my servant Caleb has a different attitude and has wholeheartedly followed me, I’ll bring him to the land he already explored. His descendants will possess it” (Numbers 14:24. One former slave reluctantly trusted a God he couldn’t see and became a leader of a generation that became everything they were meant to be. This won’t be as easy as swiping right or clicking “like”. But it’s everything we were born for.
We are in the right place at the right time. If God is for us… someone find me a giant.