Secret to a Long, Happy Life
Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you. -- Deuteronomy 5:16
By Mary Popp
Some people feel their parents are cool, or understanding. They find it easy to show them respect, and honoring such parents is no challenge for them.
For some of us the thought of father or mother brings many painful memories and heartache.
Yet the Bible says this is the first commandment with promise (Ephesians 6:2-3).
Why is this commandment so important? First of all, it's important to bear in mind that this is a commandment from God. It is also the only commandment that, if followed, has an incentive or a blessing: that our days may be long on the land that God gives us.
The Webster's New World Dictionary defines honor as: a great respect given because of worth, noble deeds, high rank, etc.; something done or given as a sign of respect; to have or show great respect for.
Those who find obstacles to honoring their parents may read this and find they cannot bring themselves to understand and apply God’s commandment in their own lives.
The opposite of honor is dishonor. Webster’s defines it as loss of honor or respect; shame; disgrace; to bring shame upon; disgrace or insult.
That means if we don’t honor our parents we are disrespecting them; we're insulting them; we are bringing shame upon them by dishonoring them in our actions and behaviors, and in our hearts.
When I dishonor others, what am I saying about my own character?
But, wait. Aren’t there many parents out there who don't deserve to be honored by their children (or anyone for that matter) because of their terrible, disgusting, ungodly, sinful behavior?
True as this may seem, they're still our parents, regardless of their lifestyle.
I can personally attest to the fact that honoring someone you don’t respect is an extremely difficult task.
Pride, resentment, pain, and bitterness are just a few reasons that may contribute to our tendency to dishonor people who have hurt us.
"But you have no clue what they did to me or how much pain they caused me," you may say.
That’s true. I don't, but God does. He knows the pain you're going through each and every day. And He also knows that when we hold unforgiveness and bitterness in our hearts towards someone – parents, husbands, wives, siblings, friends, and so-called friends – this bitterness can cause us to be stunted in our spiritual walk with God.
It can prevent breaking down of spiritual prisons we've brought upon our lives. It can cause many forms of sickness to come upon us. But most importantly, it prevents a fulfilled and happy life with Jesus Christ and others around us.
In Psalm 31:3 we read: "You, Lord God, are my mighty rock and my fortress. Lead me and guide me, so that Your name will be honored."
You may want to be set free of unforgiveness and hate towards your parent(s), but find it’s impossible to get over the hurt. Truly, we can’t do this alone.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says: "With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgment. Always let Him lead you, and He will clear the road for you to follow."
Forgiveness is a choice: a decision you and you alone must make. However difficult, you must put your bitterness under the Blood of Jesus Christ and just walk away.
In I John 2:10-11 it says: "But if we love others, we are in the light, and we don't cause problems for them. If we hate others, we are living and walking in the dark. We don't know where we are going, because we can't see in the dark."
Give it to God, and start praying for that person's salvation. By doing so, you release the love of God towards that person as well as yourself; and you've obeyed and humbled yourself to God.