Whack-a-Mole Parenting

By Frank King

Whack-a-Mole is an interesting game I discovered a few years back at the pizza place where my grandson’s sports award party was held.

The object of the game is to hit little toy moles that randomly pop out of holes in a table top.

The moles stick their heads up, and once the player notices the little creatures, his job is to hit them with a soft hammer before they duck back in.

The player earns points for every hit. But the faster he reacts to the moles, the faster they pop up.

Eventually the moles win the game because they appear and disappear much more quickly than the player can respond.

That game came to mind as I remembered the time we spent parenting our children from wetting diapers to wedding day.

Those years seem like a blur, and my wife and myself like Whack-A-Mole players on the table of life.

As each issue or problem reared its ugly head we would react, doing our best to knock it back down – only to discover another problem had popped up elsewhere.

The moles progressed from dirty diapers, to terrible twos, to bad influences in kindergarten.

Neglected chores led to missing homework, which led to bad company, which led to bad behavior. Teachers assigned TV shows as homework, and our kids had no TV.

Schools sponsored special events that contradicted our values, and neighbors’ kids behaved in ways we had prohibited in our home.

All along the way Susan and I reacted, whacking away at the current mole and wondering if the end would ever be in sight.

Well, in a sense, we completed the job: all three children are happily married, serving God, and raising their own children using godly principles.

The rest of the story is that now in our 60’s we realize that the job of parenting never ends – it just evolves through different phases.

Near as we can tell it will continue until we die, and for this we are grateful.

If I could change anything about our younger parenting days, however, it would be to break the Whack-A-Mole cycle.

I would build a scriptural foundation in my children’s lives so we could be proactive rather than reactive.

To paraphrase John 16:33: In the world ye shall have moles: but be of good cheer; God has overcome the moles.

He overcomes those moles with His Word.

In II Timothy 3:16 we are told that “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.”

When issues arose in our family we always went to the Word to find a solution.

And this is a correct solution; it just isn’t the best solution.

Our problem is that we are so busy reacting to the moles that we don’t use God’s Word to prepare ourselves to prevent the issues from ever affecting our families.

We need to back up one verse to II Timothy 3:15: “And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.”

Teaching the Word is a proactive tool that will make our children “wise unto salvation” (The Greek means to be delivered into moral safety).

Once we realize that God’s Word is a proactive tool, we need to decide how to use this tool most effectively.

What do we teach first, and how do we start?

Should we start in Genesis and work our way through to the New Testament?

How about starting with the Romans Road, and making sure our kids know the whys and hows of salvation?

Kids like stories, right? Maybe we could pick out 100 great stories and tell one each night for a couple of years.

We are told in our scripture that the child “has known” (to be aware, to consider, to understand) the Scriptures.

We don’t get clear understanding by pulling out scriptures – however appropriate they may be – and using them to whack the latest mole. We understand by considering the Scriptures in an organized way. Precept by precept, line by line.

Hundreds of authors have written thousands of books about parenting and teaching the Scriptures to children. I have read many of them, and they are mostly helpful in one way or another.

But I want to propose a simpler plan; one that every parent can begin tomorrow, and one that can continue throughout our parenting years.

It is the plan that Next Generation Ministries has adopted to teach children in our children’s church, Sunday school, Faith Roots and Young Servants classes at The Door Christian Fellowship in Tucson.

It is based in the truths upon which this church is built.

You can find those truths posted on the church website at thedoorcfc.com.

Our logic is this: The church is built on these truths; the church is a family; therefore we could build our families on the same truths.

Just a couple of the truths are:

There is only one God, and He is eternally existent in Three Persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

The Christian life is to be one of consecration, devotion, and holiness.

The shortcomings of the individual are due to the still-progressing sanctification of the saints.

The Christian life is filled with trials, tests, and warfare against a spiritual enemy.

For those abiding in Christ until their deaths or His return, the promises of eternal blessing in the presence of God are assured.

NGM has adopted these dozen or so truths into a curriculum, teaching them to children year round, with each lesson built on the previous one.

The lesson plans are available from NGM. If you want one, just ask me (if you are part of the local Tucson congregation) or put in an email request on the website.

Now that we know what to teach, a few words on how.

“And ye became followers of us, and of the Lord, having received the Word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Ghost: So that ye were ensamples to all that believe in Macedonia and Achaia” (I Thessalonians 1:6).

Truth, it has been said, is not taught but caught.

Paul, writing to a baby church in Thessalonica, stresses that he and his team set a good example, and the new converts followed that example. By following the example, they became an example to others.

Our children will become us; for better and for worse.

They will learn the Word as we demonstrate it in our lives. If we demonstrate compliance to headship and the Word, our kids will learn to be compliant to those as well.

All Christians – parents and children – should know the basic truths of the Word.

If a child sees the truth demonstrated in his parent, he is more likely to appropriate that truth for himself.

If, however, he hears or sees his parents speaking or acting contrary to the Word, then no Sunday school, or children’s church service, or Young Servants class will easily convince him that the Word is the correct “lamp unto his feet.”

We as parents need to model the Word for our kids if we want them to build their trust on it.

Eventually the result will be children whose beliefs are built on a firm Foundation.

A foundation which is taught in the home, reinforced in the children’s ministries, and preached over the pulpit.

And once that foundation supports the child’s life, when moles do pop up – in friends, school, the mall or college – they will already have been whacked by the Truth that is engrained in the family.

God will have overcome the moles, and we will know that He was and is victorious.