Phone Etiquette

Missed Manners

By Donna Shelton

"Hello."

"Hello, this is Donna Shelton. Is Sally there?"

"No."

Silence followed. I asked several questions to which the male voice gave very curt replies, before hanging up.

Phone manners aren't an issue of life and death, but they are perhaps a manifestation of courtesy, and even love in the form of kindness.

I Corinthians 13:13 says, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Galatians 5:22 tells us that love is a fruit of the Spirit: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."

We can't do the Holy Spirit's job, but we can give our children an advantage by teaching them what these qualities look like.

I was put in an uncomfortable position  by the person on the other end of the phone line. The object of manners is to make others comfortable.

Making sure your children have good phone manners will not only help you out, but will also help them out when they get older and are in the job market. So teach your children how to answer the phone when they are young.

When you decide they are old enough to answer the phone is a good time to discuss what you want them to say when they pick up the receiver.

I was taught to say, "Hello, Maxfields’ residence." A simple “Hello, Maxfields’" is another option.

Nowadays parents might not want personal information given out. In that case a cheerful "Hello" is fine.

"YO,"  "Yeah?" and "Who's this?" are unacceptable.

If the caller asks to speak with your child by name, he/she should say "this is he/she." Or even , "this is Derek."

This confirms to the caller that they are speaking to the right person and gives Derek a chance to correct the pronunciation of his name, if necessary.

This may seem trivial when the child is ten, but when he is eighteen and a college scholarship committee or prospective employer is on the line, good phones manners give a great impression.

Even though more and more people are going to personal cell phones, businesses are not, and good phone manners are still important.

If the call is not for your child he should say, "Just a minute, please, I'll see if he is available."

"Hang on" is not the best answer. The phone should be put down gently, and they should go find the requested party, not cover the mouthpiece and yell for the person.

If the person can't come to the phone or isn't there, the child should say, "Dad isn't available right now. May I take a message?"

It is important to train your child to never let a caller know that they are home alone. Also train them not to volunteer personal  information, such as that you are in the bathroom or sleeping. The caller doesn't need to know why you are unavailable.

If the caller wants to leave a message, be sure paper and a pencil are always by the phone for that purpose. Make sure your child understands it is better to ask the caller to spell their last name so that they don’t get it wrong.

It is a good practice to repeat the phone number back to the caller to make sure they heard it correctly.

"Mr. Jones, your phone number is 520-742-1212. Is that correct?"

Once the phone number is confirmed, all that is left for your child to do is say, "I'll give my Dad the message."

If the caller wants to leave a detailed message, encourage your child to respond with, "I'll have my Dad return your call."

A great book that covers other phone issues and much more is 365 Manners Kids Should Know by Sheryl Eberly. Subtitled: Games, Activities and Other Fun Ways to Help Children Learn Etiquette, this book covers everything from how to eat a shish kabob to tips on polite behavior in a museum.

There  are different topics or games for each day of the year, which makes it an easy daily project to cover all the little things that will help your children become ladies and gentlemen who stand out from the crowd.

Good manners are a good testimony for Christ, because they convey respect and consideration for others.