The Family: God's Blueprint
Pastor Bill and Alison Cox
By Pastor Bill Cox
When asked to write an article about the family as God's blueprint, I initially drew a blank. Certainly, it is very easy to make a scriptural case for this theme beginning with the Lord's statement in Genesis 2:18: "It is not good that a man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him."
I wanted to come up with something beyond dry orthodoxy, though.
My inspiration came one night at home. As I joked with a couple of my children in the easy banter that families engage in, and later on as I sat with my wife by a fire listening to a taped sermon by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., it came to me.
The proof of the family being part of God's blueprint and intent lies in how fitting it is for us.
Pastor Tom Payne recently preached a very powerful sermon about how Jesus removes the cruel yoke of bondage from us and replaces it with the yoke of lordship that He custom fits to our lives.
Part of that fitting involves the healing of broken families or the building of new ones.
One mark of a healthy, blessed marriage and family is how comfortable it is; what a refuge it is for us in this broken, chaotic world.
A favorite verse of many is Proverbs 24:3-4: "Through wisdom is a house built and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches."
We have experienced this in our home and feel God's blessing upon our family life.
Even though my wife and I both came from somewhat dysfunctional families, by God's grace we've been able to build a loving, happy marriage and family and impart blessing to our children.
In his famous work The Second Coming Irish poet W. B. Yeats writes: Things fall apart; the center cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.
Evidence for these words is all around us in our post-modern society. While popular culture lauds the hook-up scene and politically correct college professors and pundits try to paint a rosy picture of homosexual marriage, reality paints a different picture.
Yeats' "anarchy loosed upon the world" is in its essence moral anarchy. Interestingly, God's Word also paints immorality in these terms in Leviticus chapter 18. While prohibiting immorality in its many facets, the Scriptures describe it as "confusion."
In this morally confused world those who follow the Lord's blueprint of faithful, monogamous marriage provide a clear witness of God's wisdom.
This certainly is part of the prophecy in Isaiah 60:1-2: "Arise, shine; for thy light is come and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth and gross darkness the people: but the Lord shall arise upon thee and His glory shall be seen upon thee." Christian family therapist John Trent illustrates the difference between those who follow God's blueprint and those who don't very poignantly by comparing the following two letters a third grade teacher gave him without corrections in grammar or spelling.
The first child wrote: "Dear Dad, I love when you take me on dates! I like it when you play baseball with me, miniature golf with me and watch movies with me. I really aprisheate it! I like it when you tell jokes to me. I like it when you hug me and kiss me. Daddy I love you!"
Four seats away from the first letter writer sat another little girl. Here's what her letter said: "Dear Daddy, I love you so much. When are you going to come see me agen? I miss you very much. I love it when you take me to the pool. When am I going to get to spend the night at your house? Have you ever seen my house before? I want to see what your house looks like. Do you? When am I going to see you agene? I love you Daddy.”
Two very different letters. One from a child whose father knows what it means to be there and the second from a child whose father, for whatever reason, has chosen not to be there.
It doesn't take a great theologian to know which of these family situations God smiles upon and
which one grieves His heart.
I recently read a statistic about violence-plagued, crime- and gang-ridden Chicago. 75% of children born in the inner city are born to single mothers – many or most with little involvement from their biological fathers.
This sort of demographic shows us the dire consequences which follow when we ignore God's blueprint for family. It should be motivation for all of us to resist the cultural trends and be true to God's blueprint for marriage and family.
The family as God's blueprint also holds true for the church. One of the metaphors the Bible uses for the church is that of family.
In Ephesians 3:14-15 Paul writes: "For this cause I bow my knee unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named."
This lifts the church from the position of a mere institution to a warm, caring place where we build lasting relationships and lay down our lives for one another.
As the psalmist wrote, "God sets the solitary in families and brings out those who are bound by chains" (Psalm 68:6).
Many of us have found an intimacy and love amongst our brethren which we never knew in the world without Christ. When the church is functioning as it should, “when one member suffers all the members suffer with it; when one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it" (Romans 12:15). That's how healthy families function, and so ought the church.
Even as we root for our kids to hit the game-winning home run in Little League or make the honor roll, so we cheer on the young men and women as we watch them grow up in the household of faith to find God's destiny for their lives.
Similarly as families grieve together in their common sorrows of life, in the Church we "ought to bear one another's burdens and thus fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2). We're called to minister and support our own widows and orphans both in the family and in the church.
What experience has taught me after 32 years of faith and 28 years of marriage is that when God's blueprint is followed, the result is a life of peace and joy which comes no other way.