Message from a Grateful Heart

By Kelly Cilano

On Pastor Mitchell’s advice, I came to Door Church Tucson the Wednesday after the Winter Prescott Conference of 2000.

The northwest church had split, so on his advice, many of us who were leaving showed up that Wednesday night and huddled together on the east side of the building.

After the sermon, I approached Pastor Warner, introduced myself and my family, and basically said, “Here we are and, yes, we will be staying.”

He welcomed us and with no fuss and no questions; just his usual gracious manner of total understatement.

I'm not sure he knew what had just come through the door. We were angry, we were edgy, and we had just been through a hurricane. Even peaceful waters were difficult to navigate, at first, given our unsure destination.  

We weren't there long before I got a taste of Pastor Warner's grace policy. He had a pastor come to preach who had been a part of our split.

I saw red. I was so mad it was all I could do to contain myself. I am at best opinionated, at worst crazy; not much had changed, there.

As the service ended and people were leaving, I saw Mona Warner standing in the back of the church. I absolutely had to talk to her.

I asked, why in the world would Pastor allow this man to speak here, under these circumstances?

I remember including some comments that referenced rotten tomatoes and assorted weapons practice that might be applied in response to the altar call.

“That isn't how we handle things around here,” she calmly replied, citing Jesus’ command to love your enemies.

“David cutting off Goliath's head was so he didn't rise again,” I retorted. Mona just smiled and walked away. Can’t blame her, really. Obviously, I had some lessons to learn.

The many examples of Pastor's and Mona’s amazing graciousness toward the sinner have stood out to me repeatedly over the years.

My first ministry at Door Church was nursery, where Dana Mihalko always had a smile for me. Childrearing, expectations in a changing society, and of course, how children should behave at church were all topics of detailed debate during nursery duty. It was a great place to get to know people and it gave me a great foundation for making friends in a new church.

Children's Church also was a real eye-opener regarding the workings of ministry on a bigger scale than I was used to. Holding a children’s workers conference for the purpose of sharing ideas was such a fantastic idea for both the adults and the kids. My kids and grandkids and I have all benefitted.

But that wasn't all. My girls all went to Believer’s Boot Camp, thanks to Tim and Cathy Martin, who also made sure that my daughters, Angela and Sarah, attended the Father-Daughter dinners. It meant a lot to us.

In the Vision Unlimited youth ministry, Jaime and Deedee Alegria were among those who helped incredibly and patiently during the ongoing teen wars. So many more people all lent a helping hand toward keeping my kids’ eyes on Jesus and His faithfulness, regardless of the raging storms.

Then, too, came cancer. I was in the middle of school, kids’ sports, and church activities, when everything came to a screeching halt. Cancer has a way of stealing your life out from under you.

It’s not that serious, I told myself, it’s just going to be one more thing to endure.

Little did I know! Cancer stole more years than it should have, but this church was my lifeline to health. I would go to Wal-mart or Costco, and by the time I left, I was exhausted.

But when I went to church, it was as if I had been given new blood, a breath from God. I was prayed for, loved, and energized. The world’s activities would suck the life out of me.

I had to be with God’s family as much as I could.

This church was so amazing to me. For Bible conference that year, my good friend Susan King brought me a hat, which I wore, and one brother asked if I’d like to be an honorary usher, since our bald heads matched.

Now, you may think I would be offended, but not at all: that laugh stayed with me until today, and at the time, we laughed together.

Joni Breckenridge was the amazing, supportive friend who took me to my hated chemo appointments, gave me blankets to keep warm, and was always a steadfast encourager.

She was there. Always. Tirelessly.

I so appreciate the many people at church who were kind to me; who made me smile and treated me like family. I can never say thank you enough.

When Paul says, "For me to live is Christ," that is true: we still have a purpose in Christ on this earth. “But to die is gain," he also says, and that is even more true, because we are going home to be with Him, and we will have a new purpose.

Because we are saved, death can be our greatest healing, because His blood heals us from our sin. That revelation came to me during my cancer fight, but more importantly, it was the sermons and the love from God’s people that helped me to actualize that fact and that played a big part in my healing.

I came to the realization that not only is God in control, but because He died for me, death is merely a healing door that leads to a more glorious life. My fears were gone.

During COVID, everything became strange and lots of unwanted changes came about.

Friends died in greater numbers than I anticipated, and a deep anger rose within me at the lies, lawlessness, and perversion. This soon turned into sadness of heart for our country.

But one good thing came about from it: my husband started going to a new church just down the street from our house on Ina Road. It was called the Potter’s House.

For I while I just watched. Then he wanted me to go with him. So, I started attending Bible studies with him during the summer, and sometimes I also went on Sundays.

Then in August, Jerry Fussell was coming to do a revival, and I told Pastor Reyes I would be glad to play piano for him, since he was playing guitar alone for worship services.

He hasn’t yet found another piano player, so here I am, on borrowed time. He says my purpose is to be the thorn in his side. Well, the Apostle Paul had one, so I guess I’m in good company.

But I am still so very thankful for The Door.

Pastor Warner, I have learned so much from you; from Pastor Rubi, from the long talks after church; from Pastor Alvin (a trusted friend in time of need) and from all the people who have made and are making the church what it is today.

Most of my family is still there. Some are still out there wandering; please pray for them. God knows their names.

I am so grateful for Pastor Mitchell’s wise advice to join myself to The Door, and I am so grateful for the gracious acceptance of Pastor Warner and his staff.

At the Potter’s House, we pray every Sunday for Door Church Tucson and for all the other fellowship churches in the area. But The Door will always be my family.

It will always be the church home where my grateful heart lives.